Feh.

[miss_yt]

I've been trying to lose weight since I visited home on Thanksgiving, and have fallen terribly short of my goal. I have acne which has left splotches all over my skin. And in five days, I am going to be seeing my mother and maternal grandmother, both of whom are going to nag me about these things - my weight especially. I can't even risk telling my mother off, in part because we had a big fight at Thanksgiving, and also because Granny will not tolerate any backtalk (and she has enough to deal with, I don't want to upset her more).

Additionally, I have been trying to save more money but can't, I haven't joined any classes as I intended to, I've been too lazy to read or write much, and I have little hope of getting a date in the near future. I let my roommate treat me with contempt and don't tell her off, even though she did not graduate from college and doesn't have a job.[1] Oh, and our country is run by a bunch of crooks and tyrants and the polar ice caps are going to melt and disrupt the ocean currents and cause massive ecological disaster. And my cat has taken to tipping over the garbage cans in the apartment to find paper to play with.

At least I tried to get one of my stories published - I submitted it to a Philadelphia literary magazine. I'm not sure if it will get printed, because of course there is competition and I got a version of it printed before and said as much. But at least I did something.

Still, that is not nearly enough to redeem my general feelings of crappiness. And I feel crappy about feeling crappy, because I think that a good attitude is a vital part of the recipe for a good life. Man, everything sucks.



[1] To be fair, I don't think she intentionally treats me like that, and there are other factors to consider. But I really shouldn't take crap from her.

Comments

[cinnabunny.livejournal.com]

I'm still chubby and I have rosacea which leaves my skin red and blotchy all the time. :( I'm constantly hearing, "your face is broken out bad," ugh! No, it isn't! It just looks that way. One of the only things that works are face masks made of sulfur--it takes the redness away for a while. But, yeah. I know that my family... means well (at least I hope they're not just being assholes), they just don't understand my feelings on the matter.
I was just writing in my diary yesterday about how I need to actively seek dates. Just get out some and do something--meet people. You know? But... I don't know how. Life is complicated.

[miss-yt.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I have sulfur mask stuff, although I mostly use it as a spot treatment for pimples. The real problem is that I pick at them. I hope after I clear this up that I can get some treatment from a dermatologist or something.

I think I'm just at kind of a bad time right now. After all, I just started on my own and it always takes me a long time to get used to things. At least I can keep my checkbook balanced and I know how to cook and do my own laundry and all that.

[tempus-aeterna.livejournal.com]

I do understand. My weight has been bugging me and I have no clothes that acutally fit me. In addition I'm overworking myself and feeling like I'm going to have a breakdown. And as usual I let my mother make me feel like crap, and in general I make myself feel like crap. So you aren't out there alone. If you want to get dinner or something over the break, e-mail or call.

[miss-yt.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the offer, but it will have to wait until after I get back from Florida. I'm coming home on the 31st.

[pinesandmaples]

Any trained monkey can go to college and get a worthless degree.

[miss-yt.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I think you just have a sour grapes attitude about a college degree. And while it's true that a lot of folks who are basically trained monkeys can and do get degrees, I worked very hard for mine.