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miss_ytWell, it happened. I woke up around 4 or 4:30 this morning because I had to go to the bathroom, and I started thinking about my job search, which I've barely begun, and about stuff I have to do for my thesis. And I started feeling terrified. There was no hope of going back to sleep, so I started planning things I had to do and doing other bits of work. I feel better now, though still scared.
I wonder if it was just a small-hours-of-the-morning thing (or Hour of the Wolf thing, for you B5 fans), or if this is something that's going to go on for a while. The truth is, if I don't want to get in trouble, I really need to buckle down on the job search and thesis stuff. At least I know that I can get through this.
But, as I said, I'm scared. I want to call someone but it's too early for that. Nor can I go see Martine, for the same reason. I'm shaking and in a bit of a cold sweat.
What I hope is that I'll be scared enough to be motivated to work but not so scared that I can't eat or sleep. Speaking of that, my head is swimming and I've calmed down a little. Maybe I should try and go back to bed for a while. I know this freak-out thing doesn't really help me, but I can't help it. That parallel construction would be funny if I were in a better mood.
I wonder if it was just a small-hours-of-the-morning thing (or Hour of the Wolf thing, for you B5 fans), or if this is something that's going to go on for a while. The truth is, if I don't want to get in trouble, I really need to buckle down on the job search and thesis stuff. At least I know that I can get through this.
But, as I said, I'm scared. I want to call someone but it's too early for that. Nor can I go see Martine, for the same reason. I'm shaking and in a bit of a cold sweat.
What I hope is that I'll be scared enough to be motivated to work but not so scared that I can't eat or sleep. Speaking of that, my head is swimming and I've calmed down a little. Maybe I should try and go back to bed for a while. I know this freak-out thing doesn't really help me, but I can't help it. That parallel construction would be funny if I were in a better mood.
