I think that what you talked about with desdenova was a good idea. It is still sort of passive aggressive to wait for her to do something else and then mention it rather than brining it up now, but, I see why you may not want to do that.
A better way to get around initial, direct confrontation in person but to avoid an impersonal e-mail is to write her out a letter (written, not typed), sit her down and tell her, that you have some concerns with your roommate relationship, but you have written her a letter because you express yourself better that way. Say that you would like to speak with her about the issues after she reads the letter.
Another thing to do is, if you end up needing to put anything in writing, you should say that you haven't been the best roommate and maybe all three of you should sit down and have a more delineated description of responsibilities and schedules. That could help them understand more directly that you are trying. Also, you could say that when schedules change for the summer or for next year, you want to sit down again and confirm responsibilities and schedules as the schedules may change when classes change and sometimes responsibilities ultimately change with schedules (for example if the person responsible for taking out the trash the evening before the trash man comes in the morning has a late class, it might be prudent for someone else to take that responsibility). Asking them to have a real sit down where the *actual* concerns (i.e. things about responsibilities and scheduling) are addressed might help some of her displaced frustration (if that's what it is). Also, a weekly schedule on the door or a white board with where people are for the day, may help you with some of the shower/event times and may help them realize where you are and when you *can* do a task and when you are *unavailable* to do one.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2008-02-13 03:23 am (UTC)A better way to get around initial, direct confrontation in person but to avoid an impersonal e-mail is to write her out a letter (written, not typed), sit her down and tell her, that you have some concerns with your roommate relationship, but you have written her a letter because you express yourself better that way. Say that you would like to speak with her about the issues after she reads the letter.
Another thing to do is, if you end up needing to put anything in writing, you should say that you haven't been the best roommate and maybe all three of you should sit down and have a more delineated description of responsibilities and schedules. That could help them understand more directly that you are trying. Also, you could say that when schedules change for the summer or for next year, you want to sit down again and confirm responsibilities and schedules as the schedules may change when classes change and sometimes responsibilities ultimately change with schedules (for example if the person responsible for taking out the trash the evening before the trash man comes in the morning has a late class, it might be prudent for someone else to take that responsibility). Asking them to have a real sit down where the *actual* concerns (i.e. things about responsibilities and scheduling) are addressed might help some of her displaced frustration (if that's what it is). Also, a weekly schedule on the door or a white board with where people are for the day, may help you with some of the shower/event times and may help them realize where you are and when you *can* do a task and when you are *unavailable* to do one.