Well, fine.
Oct. 3rd, 2006 03:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
miss_ytSo I might not be going home for the Maryland RenFaire in two weeks after all.
Basically what happened was that my mother got upset over a package she sent me through the U.S. mail - a package which is either very delayed or in a black hole somewhere. The exact details are not very important. Basically, I thought that another package I recieved around that time was the one in question, sent her an e-mail to that effect and only later discovered that it wasn't the right one. When I told her that she seriously overreacted and basically said that I was selfish or at least oblivious to other people's concerns, which is why I turned people off socially, etc. It was more or less a combination of the heat of the moment combined with some other issues that she thinks I have, or that I do have but not as badly as she thinks I do.
It's hardly the first time she's made a mountain out of a molehill and then taken her frustrations out on me. Sometimes whatever she's pissed about doesn't really have to with me at all, and she complains about problems with me because she's really upset about other things that are beyond her control - or maybe that I myself am beyond her control.
I e-mailed her back and said she had no right to call me selfish just because the postal service seems to have misplaced my package and because I thought I'd recieved it when I actually hadn't. I said I understood why she was frustrated but that she could not blame me for it or assume that it was as high on my priority list as it was on hers.
Usually that's as far as I go when defending myself to her. This time I also said that I was tired of her venting her frustrations on me for stupid reasons (although not in so many words). Then, after thinking about it for a while, I added that she should not contact me again until she had calmed down and was willing to apologize. I figured that would mean no RenFaire for me, but going to the RenFaire isn't worth knuckling under to her temper yet again, just because she gives me stuff.
She e-mailed back just saying that she'd see me next Thanksgiving, and that was it. I presume that means no RenFaire for me, at least for now. It may also mean getting a scolding by phone or e-mail from my maternal grandmother, once she hears about it, or a call from my dad in which he says that my mother really does care about me and just gets frustrated easily.
Well, I don't get frustrated easily, so when I do, you ought to know that it's something serious.
This probably isn't the end of the matter. Mom will have to explain to Benjamin that his sister won't be going with him to the RenFaire, perhaps that he won't be going at all because there is no available adult willing to stay there with him all day. He may gather that she got angry over basically nothing, or he'll call and ask and I'll tell him what happened. Dad may side with me and convince her to change her mind. Mom might reconsider unassisted.
But right now it looks like I will not be going to any RenFaire this year. I don't feel too bad about that now, though. I weighed the options, I made my decision and I will live with it.
Basically what happened was that my mother got upset over a package she sent me through the U.S. mail - a package which is either very delayed or in a black hole somewhere. The exact details are not very important. Basically, I thought that another package I recieved around that time was the one in question, sent her an e-mail to that effect and only later discovered that it wasn't the right one. When I told her that she seriously overreacted and basically said that I was selfish or at least oblivious to other people's concerns, which is why I turned people off socially, etc. It was more or less a combination of the heat of the moment combined with some other issues that she thinks I have, or that I do have but not as badly as she thinks I do.
It's hardly the first time she's made a mountain out of a molehill and then taken her frustrations out on me. Sometimes whatever she's pissed about doesn't really have to with me at all, and she complains about problems with me because she's really upset about other things that are beyond her control - or maybe that I myself am beyond her control.
I e-mailed her back and said she had no right to call me selfish just because the postal service seems to have misplaced my package and because I thought I'd recieved it when I actually hadn't. I said I understood why she was frustrated but that she could not blame me for it or assume that it was as high on my priority list as it was on hers.
Usually that's as far as I go when defending myself to her. This time I also said that I was tired of her venting her frustrations on me for stupid reasons (although not in so many words). Then, after thinking about it for a while, I added that she should not contact me again until she had calmed down and was willing to apologize. I figured that would mean no RenFaire for me, but going to the RenFaire isn't worth knuckling under to her temper yet again, just because she gives me stuff.
She e-mailed back just saying that she'd see me next Thanksgiving, and that was it. I presume that means no RenFaire for me, at least for now. It may also mean getting a scolding by phone or e-mail from my maternal grandmother, once she hears about it, or a call from my dad in which he says that my mother really does care about me and just gets frustrated easily.
Well, I don't get frustrated easily, so when I do, you ought to know that it's something serious.
This probably isn't the end of the matter. Mom will have to explain to Benjamin that his sister won't be going with him to the RenFaire, perhaps that he won't be going at all because there is no available adult willing to stay there with him all day. He may gather that she got angry over basically nothing, or he'll call and ask and I'll tell him what happened. Dad may side with me and convince her to change her mind. Mom might reconsider unassisted.
But right now it looks like I will not be going to any RenFaire this year. I don't feel too bad about that now, though. I weighed the options, I made my decision and I will live with it.
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no subject
Date: 2006-10-03 08:15 pm (UTC)(I'd offer to help with the Benjamin/Ren Faire angle, but I'm only going the weekend of the 20th/21st--I can't tell if that's the weekend you mean, but I think it is--and there's a very large group of people I'm affiliated with already. So the "stay with him at all times" aspect is not really feasible.)
no subject
Date: 2006-10-04 01:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-07 10:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-08 02:34 am (UTC)She probably has something else going on. I've considered the possibility but have not suggested to her or anyone in my family that she may need therapy or medication or something.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-08 01:11 pm (UTC)