When I had a problematic flatmate situation, I moved out when the lease ended. I'm not saying that's the best solution, but it's what I did.
Discussing the situation is good, but I advise against the e-mail approach. This woman sounds like an aggressive, dominating type, and getting a complaint via e-mail rather than face-to-face will almost certainly 1) piss her off, and 2) be taken as a sign of weakness. As such, there's a good chance it will lead to even more bullying on her part. (I speak from experience as an aggressive, dominating type; passive-aggressiveness brings out the worst in me.)
If you do end up having to directly confront the annoying one, it might be helpful to write down your points as if you _were_ going to send an e-mail, and run through them a few times as practice. I do sympathize with the "express self better in writing" thing; I just don't think it's bound to be an effective way to deal with someone you live with.
Could you perhaps discuss the problem with the third flatmate? Since she knows the troublesome flatmate better, she can maybe suggest how to most effectively resolve the conflict. Or maybe even have words with the troublesome one on your behalf?
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2008-02-12 04:47 pm (UTC)When I had a problematic flatmate situation, I moved out when the lease ended. I'm not saying that's the best solution, but it's what I did.
Discussing the situation is good, but I advise against the e-mail approach. This woman sounds like an aggressive, dominating type, and getting a complaint via e-mail rather than face-to-face will almost certainly 1) piss her off, and 2) be taken as a sign of weakness. As such, there's a good chance it will lead to even more bullying on her part. (I speak from experience as an aggressive, dominating type; passive-aggressiveness brings out the worst in me.)
If you do end up having to directly confront the annoying one, it might be helpful to write down your points as if you _were_ going to send an e-mail, and run through them a few times as practice. I do sympathize with the "express self better in writing" thing; I just don't think it's bound to be an effective way to deal with someone you live with.
Could you perhaps discuss the problem with the third flatmate? Since she knows the troublesome flatmate better, she can maybe suggest how to most effectively resolve the conflict. Or maybe even have words with the troublesome one on your behalf?