"I'd be happy to do it...if you asked me politely." That kind of lays out what my expectations are.

I think that's a good strategy, and a perfectly reasonable request to make of somebody.

My roommate is also a New Yorker

Oh, dear. You have my sympathy.

I am never sharing a house or apartment with anyone ever again,

I hear ya! I took an extra job during grad school so I could afford to live by myself. It was totally worth it.